What Maternity Leave was Really Like

As you may have noticed, I didn't blog much during my 8 weeks of maternity leave. You tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen. "Taking care of a newborn is hard," you said. "How dare you tell me my experience will be anything other than blissful," I thought. And I continued in my ignorant bliss right up to the time my moms jumped in the car to go home on postpartum day 4.

For the next week, I cried every day. It wasn't that I was depressed. I was rediculously happy, paranoid of something happening to my baby, overwhelmed with responsibility, and downright exhausted. My major accomplishment each day was taking a shower.

So, for all the new and about-to-be mommies (especially this one), here are my tips on how to keep your sanity most days of the week during maternity leave.

• Get help.
  Invite family who will actually do chores, piece together neighbors and friends, or if you can afford it, hire someone, for example, a postpartum doula. My postpartum plan didn't work out exactly as expected, but if it was just M and me when we came home from the birth center, I don't know how we would have managed. I needed near constant assistance between caring for my lady parts and keeping up with my fluid needs. Caring for Cameron wasn't hard but definitely constant. Time for preparing meals and keeping things in order around the house was nonexistent. M couldn't have cared for us on his own. He was so sleep deprived from the birth that he needed tender loving care, too.
• Cry.
  For the first two weeks or so your hormones are a mess. So, make the best of it and cry for joy, cry about being terrified of how you'll cope after everyone goes home, and cry while staring at your beautiful baby without even trying to dissect all those emotions. It feels good, and eventually, the tears do stop.
• Make your partner pull his/her weight.
  When everybody goes home, it's time for your spouse to step up. The high of the birth will have probably worn off and sleep deprivation will have a firm hold on your home. Your partner may even be back at work while you're left to brave the newborn days on your own. But you shouldn't have to do it all. When M went back to work, he returned to his routine of long days and evening workouts. His boss even sent him on a business trip to Vegas when Cameron was just one week old. Then one Friday evening, M strolled in at 9pm after a good long workout, and I knew it was not a sustainable situation. I cried, told him I needed him to help me more, and walked upstairs to bed. The next morning things were different. By the end of the weekend he washed the dishes, vacuumed, mowed the front and back lawn, and watched Cameron while I slept.
• Get out.
  For the first 2 weeks after Cameron was born, I hung out in my bedroom like it was a cave. It just seemed easiest to have all my supplies in one place and camp out with the baby. A series of events forced me into the world during week 3 (I went with M on a business trip to Kansas City where the in-laws live), and to my surprise, I loved it. I didn't venture too far on my own too quickly, but the more I did, the more confident I became. By week 4 I was riding the metro downtown to a new moms group, which ended up being one of my best sanity savers.
• Meet other moms.
  This is a must. Hanging out with other new moms made me feel normal. I chose a free group at The Breastfeeding Center for Greater Washington. That was fabulous because we all had something in common in addition to being new moms.

Whew! That only took me 4 weekends to write between nursing sessions and diaper changes. So tell me, what helped you keep your sanity during maternity leave?