After thumbing through the pages, I landed on a column of quotes inspired by Sarah Jessica Parker’s new movie, I Don’t Know How She Does It. “We don’t need a movie to tell us how we do it all,” said the column. “Just check out these quotes from real working moms.”
The quote that caught my eye went something like:
Some days you’re buying sandals from your desk at work, and other days your kid is eating Cap’n Crunch for dinner.I can’t remember exactly what I read, but you get the gist. The column was meant to be inspiring, but for me, it had the opposite effect. (Warning, pessimistic attitude follows.)
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| This bares a striking resemblance to my day planner. |
At some point every week I get stuck in this "I can't do enough" place. Depending on the day, I’ll fantasize about staying home with Cameron or sending him to full-time daycare before I have to. I love my job, and I love mothering my son; I don’t feel like I do either to my full capability. And that’s a hard place to be for a former piano-playing perfectionist such as myself.
Lest I appear ungrateful for the freedoms I have as a woman living in the United States in the 21st century, I acknowledge my great fortune of even being able to struggle through career and parenting angst. But it’s a fact that women’s levels of happiness relative to men have been steadily declining since the 1970s. And I have to wonder, do we really want to do it all? How many of us feel like we’re just hobbling through it all? And why doesn't my husband feel the same way?
Surely the answer isn't to go backwards. So, is there a way forward to something less exhausting?
I love this line from the NY Times article you referenced: Inside of families, men still haven’t figured out how to shoulder their fair share of the household burden.
ReplyDeleteI think that is a major contributor to why I feel overwhelmed a lot of the time in this motherhood adventure. My hubby asks how he can help out, and I tell him, but it somehow doesn't quite get done, or if it does, it's sub-par.
It'll be interesting to see how things fall apart once I go back to work full-time on Monday!
I can relate to that line. I think the issue goes even deeper though. I feel a dual call to be a wonderful mother and a driven career woman, which is really difficult to live up to. Matt wants to be a wonderful father, but somehow "wonderful father" doesn't require as much effort as "wonderful mother." Does that makes sense?
ReplyDelete