Ladies, Grab Your Boards

I recently made a pretty radical move. M and I rented our house out and downsized to an apartment across the street from my work. We also hired a nanny for Cam. Now I have no commute, less clutter, and more time for family. How is it, then, that at noon on a Thursday I can fantasize about finding the exit door from my daily responsibilities?

Being a mom is tough shit.

I had a revelation today that made it all better, at least for this evening. Working and raising a kid is like surfing. It can be crazy fun and exhilirating...wait, what are we talking about here? Seriously, being a working mom makes me feel fabulously nimble, accomplished, and in the moment. And the key to feeling that way is not fighting the waves. You have to know when to duck dive, how far past the break to hang out, which waves to catch, and which ones to let go.

The trouble comes when you feel like you're getting pounded. You're right in the break. Nanny gets sick. Taxes are due. Mortgage is due. Cell phone stops working. Work speeds up. Dog eats pacifier. You shift into victim mode, throw your hands up, and lose your board, or your mind, whatever the case may be.

Then there are the days when you get sucked under and thrown around like a rag doll in a washing machine. You get thrashed about in the competing demands of career, motherhood, and humanhood.

You don't want to be there.

Where you want to spend your time is on top, with everything in perspective. So at noon on this Thursday when I was feeling pounded, I washed up on the shore of my 2-bedroom apartment and spent my lunch break nursing and rocking my baby. By 1 o'clock I was back in the water heading past the break to choose my next wave.

That's where we all want to be.
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